i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize