Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
