Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
