you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
