What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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