My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
