dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
