I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
