Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
