so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
