We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
