**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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