You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
