you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
