All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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