I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
