I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
