My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
