Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
