I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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