Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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