whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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