i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
