i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
either way he was missing a nipple.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm just crazy horny about you
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
