Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
