when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize