the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
