sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
