i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
