great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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