I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
