This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
