ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
