Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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