I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Less talking, more tequila
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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