I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
