What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
