Non-Jews are for practice
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
