I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The uberlube is also flammable
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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