I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize