Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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