Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
