I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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