So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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