Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
