But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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