that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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