I'm really into asian looking animals
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
