I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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