Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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