So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
