i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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