she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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