How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just cut my nipple shaving
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
