It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
