But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
